Thank you. I've been caring for my Dad for three years, and helped with my mother the last 3 to 5 years before she passed. I'm lucky enough to have a friend now on the same journey with her father . We can say the thing, scream at the world, and curse about health care workers not listening. I see you. You're doing an amazing job.
Thank you for your kind thoughts. Yes, it helps so much to have friends who have gone through it, and are going through it. We can say the things to each other that we can’t say to others. It was hard to lose my parents so quickly and so close together, but over the years, I’ve learned what a blessing it was for them. It’s a very loving thing you’re doing.
Thank you for that, I really needed to read it. I’m caring for a husband with untreatable cancer and a 90+ year old mother, I have some help from my sister but she also has a husband with a very demanding health issue. You have helped put things into perspective and expressed the whole difficult thing so very well… all I can say is thank you from the bottom of my heart… and persevere on your own journey. All good blessings go with you and your husband.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. It’s so draining being a caregiver to one person, I can’t imagine feeling responsible for two. I wish you the same good blessings.
You are exactly where I was 3 years ago with my husband. He had cancer was expected to live 6 months and he lived for 7 years. The last two years were around the clock care. I have a chronic illness and chronic pain and I felt anger too. Not at my husband. But at the situation, at the unfairness of it. We were only in our mid-50s. We've been together since we were 15. It was NOT supposed to be like this.
Anyone who unsubscribed from you because of this has never cared for a loved one for any length of time. And the span of a year and a half I did this for my stepmom, my husband and then my father.
I'm still angry.
But I take my breath in and I hold it I pray to my lady that she gives me insight, courage and if not peace, eventually I will always know I did my utmost for my loved ones.
If you have not been through that crucible you should not judge.
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm six years younger than my husband so, yeah, this all started when I was barely past 50. A year after my youngest went to college. What was supposed to finally be my time to live. I too have chronic illness and I work so hard to stay as healthy as possible . . . because if I go down, who is going to take care of both of us? Not my kids. Most days I feel like I'm pushing 80. It's hard not to be angry, but I keep telling myself, it is what it is.
I really appreciate you sharing your journey through this lens. I can't imaging going through what you're going through but as someone who has been searching for something to give me a sense of meaning and purpose, especially during hard times, it's encouraging to have an example of witchcraft supporting one of the hardest life struggles anyone could have to face. We don't often expect to look for and find the craft there, and we aren't shown these harsher moments in witchy feeds. Thank you for your vulnerability. I see your strength.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I began my practice of witchcraft 25+ years ago when my life was spinning out of control. It has been difficult at times over the years years to find the deeper connections of my practice during trying situations, but I can say that when I seek those answers, I always come away with newfound wisdom.
Everything I think I know about witchcraft, I learned from reading the novels of Terry Pratchett. Working on the edges, caring for others in liminal spaces and cognizant of their own shadow side.
Thank you for sharing this. I just found you by "coincidence". I was reading something very different and totally unrelated on Substack, and saw your comment and I was curious to read something, anything from you. I clicked on this article. And the timing of this couldn't be better. My beloved 88 year old grandma is going through a difficult times, with severe psychosis and dementia, and everything about it is heartbreaking. The conversations with her are not about dialogue anymore. But they teach me presence.
Your words resonated deeply. Thank you, and I wish you a lot of courage and love to continue doing what you are doing. I'm glad I've found you.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. These connections are why I write and you've given me just the boost I needed today. May the presence of love ease your heartbreak and may your grandmother feel the love holding her.
I cannot express how much I appreciate your honesty in the midst of the incredible pain you are living. Your words resonated deeply with me. I'm sending you so much strength and love 💕✨
Thank you for taking the time to read and reply. Each day that passes I am finding a deeper purpose and sensing a stronger Sacred presence with us. It truly is transformational.
Thank you for this thoughtful essay. This has been a long journey for you both.
So many of us are in caretaker mode. We can only walk with someone with failing health.
And do our best to be the strength the household needs.
"There comes a point in every love story when one person can no longer walk beside the other. Caregiving is teaching me that. It’s also helping me understand that walking beside someone for as long as you can is its own sacred act."
Be a little selfish and find time for you every day, however brief.
And ask for help. Need the lawn mowed? Garbage taken? Kitty care? Kitchen cleaned. House tidied? Your friends would love to be needed.
Thank you for the kindness and the friendship. When you know, you know. We're adjusting to this next phase. I'll find my footing soon. Right now, our home is starting to feel like a sanctuary I want to protect.
Thank you. I've been caring for my Dad for three years, and helped with my mother the last 3 to 5 years before she passed. I'm lucky enough to have a friend now on the same journey with her father . We can say the thing, scream at the world, and curse about health care workers not listening. I see you. You're doing an amazing job.
Thank you for your kind thoughts. Yes, it helps so much to have friends who have gone through it, and are going through it. We can say the things to each other that we can’t say to others. It was hard to lose my parents so quickly and so close together, but over the years, I’ve learned what a blessing it was for them. It’s a very loving thing you’re doing.
Thank you for that, I really needed to read it. I’m caring for a husband with untreatable cancer and a 90+ year old mother, I have some help from my sister but she also has a husband with a very demanding health issue. You have helped put things into perspective and expressed the whole difficult thing so very well… all I can say is thank you from the bottom of my heart… and persevere on your own journey. All good blessings go with you and your husband.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. It’s so draining being a caregiver to one person, I can’t imagine feeling responsible for two. I wish you the same good blessings.
Sending you such deep love on your journey ❤️🩹
Thank you. I enjoyed this very much. Very relatable and honest.
You are exactly where I was 3 years ago with my husband. He had cancer was expected to live 6 months and he lived for 7 years. The last two years were around the clock care. I have a chronic illness and chronic pain and I felt anger too. Not at my husband. But at the situation, at the unfairness of it. We were only in our mid-50s. We've been together since we were 15. It was NOT supposed to be like this.
Anyone who unsubscribed from you because of this has never cared for a loved one for any length of time. And the span of a year and a half I did this for my stepmom, my husband and then my father.
I'm still angry.
But I take my breath in and I hold it I pray to my lady that she gives me insight, courage and if not peace, eventually I will always know I did my utmost for my loved ones.
If you have not been through that crucible you should not judge.
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm six years younger than my husband so, yeah, this all started when I was barely past 50. A year after my youngest went to college. What was supposed to finally be my time to live. I too have chronic illness and I work so hard to stay as healthy as possible . . . because if I go down, who is going to take care of both of us? Not my kids. Most days I feel like I'm pushing 80. It's hard not to be angry, but I keep telling myself, it is what it is.
I really appreciate you sharing your journey through this lens. I can't imaging going through what you're going through but as someone who has been searching for something to give me a sense of meaning and purpose, especially during hard times, it's encouraging to have an example of witchcraft supporting one of the hardest life struggles anyone could have to face. We don't often expect to look for and find the craft there, and we aren't shown these harsher moments in witchy feeds. Thank you for your vulnerability. I see your strength.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I began my practice of witchcraft 25+ years ago when my life was spinning out of control. It has been difficult at times over the years years to find the deeper connections of my practice during trying situations, but I can say that when I seek those answers, I always come away with newfound wisdom.
Everything I think I know about witchcraft, I learned from reading the novels of Terry Pratchett. Working on the edges, caring for others in liminal spaces and cognizant of their own shadow side.
Your love is certainly visible! Thank you for sharing your journey, especially when it is such a painful and difficult one.
I needed your honesty and articulation today. Bowing to the mystery of this stage and phase, recognizing myself in your post. Thank you.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. Wishing you the best on this journey.
Thank you for sharing this. I just found you by "coincidence". I was reading something very different and totally unrelated on Substack, and saw your comment and I was curious to read something, anything from you. I clicked on this article. And the timing of this couldn't be better. My beloved 88 year old grandma is going through a difficult times, with severe psychosis and dementia, and everything about it is heartbreaking. The conversations with her are not about dialogue anymore. But they teach me presence.
Your words resonated deeply. Thank you, and I wish you a lot of courage and love to continue doing what you are doing. I'm glad I've found you.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. These connections are why I write and you've given me just the boost I needed today. May the presence of love ease your heartbreak and may your grandmother feel the love holding her.
What beautiful, truthful writing! Bless you and your husband! Thank you. And that picture is so touching.
“Caregiving has become its own threshold.” that's it right there. Well said.
I cannot express how much I appreciate your honesty in the midst of the incredible pain you are living. Your words resonated deeply with me. I'm sending you so much strength and love 💕✨
Thank you for taking the time to read and reply. Each day that passes I am finding a deeper purpose and sensing a stronger Sacred presence with us. It truly is transformational.
Thank you for this thoughtful essay. This has been a long journey for you both.
So many of us are in caretaker mode. We can only walk with someone with failing health.
And do our best to be the strength the household needs.
"There comes a point in every love story when one person can no longer walk beside the other. Caregiving is teaching me that. It’s also helping me understand that walking beside someone for as long as you can is its own sacred act."
Be a little selfish and find time for you every day, however brief.
And ask for help. Need the lawn mowed? Garbage taken? Kitty care? Kitchen cleaned. House tidied? Your friends would love to be needed.
Thank you for the kindness and the friendship. When you know, you know. We're adjusting to this next phase. I'll find my footing soon. Right now, our home is starting to feel like a sanctuary I want to protect.